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Feeling Abandoned? It Might Be More Than Just Loneliness

Have you ever felt like the world has turned its back on you? Like everyone you counted on has suddenly disappeared, or would disappear leaving you stranded in a sea of loneliness? It's a sinking feeling, isn't it? But what if I told you that this feeling of abandonment could be more than just a passing emotion? What if it could be a sign of something deeper, something that needs attention and care?


As a psychologist, I've seen many individuals struggle with this overwhelming sense of abandonment. It's a common thread among those with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a condition marked by intense emotions and unstable relationships. They range from all adult age groups - 20s, 30s even in 40s. But let me assure you, if you're feeling this way, you're not alone, and there is help available.


Imagine waking up one day, feeling like the people you once trusted have all vanished. Friends, family, even your own thoughts seem distant and unreachable. This is the reality for many individuals with BPD, where the fear of abandonment looms large in their minds.

This fear isn't just about the past or the future – it's a constant, day-to-day feeling that colors their present relationships. For those with BPD, relationships can feel like walking on a tightrope, never knowing when the next gust of wind will send them tumbling. This instability in relationships often stems from their childhood experiences, whether it was a traumatic event, a parent's mental illness, or feeling abandoned or abused.


The fear of being left behind, forgotten, or unloved becomes a lens through which they see the world. Every interaction, every word spoken, is scrutinized for signs of rejection. This hypersensitivity to perceived abandonment can lead to extreme emotional reactions. One moment, they may be overflowing with love and affection, and the next, consumed by rage or despair.


The connection to their childhood experiences is profound. A childhood marked by trauma or neglect can leave deep scars that manifest in adulthood. The wounds of abandonment from the past can echo loudly in their present relationships, making it difficult to trust, to feel secure, and to let others in.

For those living with BPD, the fear of abandonment is not just a passing worry – it's a constant companion. It colors their interactions, their thoughts, and their very sense of self. They may go to great lengths to avoid being left alone, even if it means sacrificing their own well-being.


So, if you find yourself nodding along to these words, if you've ever felt the crushing weight of abandonment pressing down on you, it might be time to seek help. Talking to a psychologist or psychiatrist can provide valuable insights and coping strategies to navigate these turbulent emotions. Healing from the wounds of the past is possible, and you deserve to live a life free from the constant fear of abandonment.


Remember, feeling abandoned is not a sign of weakness. It's a signal from your mind and body that something needs attention. By reaching out for help, you're taking the first step towards understanding and healing.

So, the next time you feel the world slipping away, remember that there are hands reaching out to help you hold on. You are not alone, and there is hope for a brighter tomorrow.


Take care of yourself, reach out for support, and remember that healing is possible.

Komel Chadha



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