Personal Growth, Children or Professional Demands: What To Prioritize and How

Have you ever felt like you're running a race with no finish line, caught between the unrelenting demands of work, the deep love for your children, and the quiet longing to grow into the person you once dreamed of becoming? Each morning arrives like a tidal wave—packing lunchboxes, answering emails, making school runs, managing deadlines, squeezing in last-minute meetings, all while a small voice inside asks, “What about me?” By the time the day winds down, exhaustion settles in like an old friend, and the thought of doing something for yourself feels almost indulgent. But the truth is, it isn’t. The real challenge is not choosing between being a devoted parent or an evolving individual—it is learning how to carry both within the same breath.

For many middle-aged adults, particularly working mothers, life feels like an intricate balancing act where one misstep could send everything tumbling. Consider a woman who wakes up before sunrise to prepare breakfast, gets her children ready for school, and then rushes to the office, only to return home late in the evening. Her child waits eagerly to share the day’s stories, but she barely has the energy to listen. Or think of a father who dreams of learning a new skill, reading more books, or simply having a moment of stillness, yet finds his evenings consumed by helping with homework and household responsibilities.

These are not isolated struggles but universal experiences shared by countless parents who constantly feel torn between nurturing their children and nurturing themselves. The body tires faster, the mind races slower, and the guilt of not doing “enough” becomes a constant companion. The world tells them to “prioritize,” but how does one choose between two things that are equally essential?

Perhaps the answer lies not in choosing but in redefining balance itself. Instead of trying to stretch time to fit an impossible schedule, we must learn to listen to the rhythms of our own capacity. Some days, that may mean staying up a little later to read a book that fuels the mind. Other days, it may mean letting go of that book to sit beside your child and listen to their small, wonderful stories. Balance is not a perfect equation but a series of mindful choices made each day. Just as a tree bends in the wind but does not break, we must learn to be flexible, understanding that some days will be more about work, others more about family, and some—though rare—just for ourselves. It is in these small, imperfect adjustments that a new kind of balance emerges—one that does not demand perfection but welcomes effort.

Think of a musician tuning an instrument before a performance. Each string needs attention, but not every string needs to be played at once. The melody of life is created not by striking all notes together but by knowing when to play which one. If we stop chasing the illusion of a fixed schedule and instead embrace the idea that every day is a fresh opportunity to do our best, the weight of expectation lifts. A working mother may not always have hours to spend with her children after work, but a heartfelt ten-minute conversation, filled with genuine presence, can mean more than an entire evening spent absent-mindedly scrolling through emails. A father may not have the luxury of an uninterrupted weekend for self-growth, but listening to an audiobook on the drive to work or taking a ten-minute walk alone can be enough to refill his cup. Small moments matter. Small choices shape everything.

So, rather than exhausting ourselves trying to perfect a balance that doesn’t exist, we must focus on doing the best we can within the reality we have. Some days will feel overwhelming, some will feel fulfilling, and many will be somewhere in between. The key is to keep trying, keep adjusting, and above all, to be kind to ourselves. Because in the end, neither our children nor we need a perfect parent—we only need a present one.

Regards,

Komel Chadha

Psychologist

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