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Is your age causing you worry?



Do you have a subconscious fear that you are aging faster than you are achieving your life's goals? Do you live with a sense of insecurity related to your profession, your body, or your social life? Even in your ripe years, do you feel that the end of life is fast approaching, but you still haven't figured out how you should be operating yourself? Are you living out of fear of losing things soon? If your answers are mostly yes, then let me tell you, you are not alone.


There are people around you who are enduring painful medical procedures, plunging into two or more professions, overthinking to the level of insanity, and consuming drugs for the same reason. They also feel their clock is ticking fast and it is difficult for them also to accept this fact. They don't have a way out either. Their minds have run out of solutions. In fact, for some, it has become like the cat and the pigeon story. The pigeon closed its eyes when the cat approached believing that since it could not see the cat, it was not approaching it. And hence won't kill it. But is that really true? Can you really close your eyes to a stark truth? The cat is fast approaching you. It is you who will have to do something to survive.


You are aging every moment and you will have to know how to operate yourself if you want to live well.

The real question is how should you do it? How can you enter the new years without being gripped by any fear?


Let me say that changing your perspective is what can help you. It cannot change the inevitable truth but at least it will give you a way to make peace with aging and thereby living more of each moment. It can help you feel life like a bliss. It can help you operate out of confidence and clarity and not fear and anxiety.


But before I write how to endure such a welcoming perspective, let me not miss to mention that aging is a drastic internal mind-body change. And change in any way has some fear or anxiety associated with it due to the uncertainty factor. And aging is such a change that it keeps coming with new challenges and uncertainties almost every day. One’s own body undergoes a transformation. Simultaneously, our capabilities decrease, creating more fear in us. This fear further gets enhanced when we are told that we are now adults and should take all our decisions for ourselves. There is no one to look forward to.


Changes are only easy to handle when we acknowledge them as such! When we accept the fact that we are in a transient state and not a stable one. When we accept uncertainty as a reality, and change as a ground. This means being more actively involved in life and taking proactive decisions.


You need to see aging as a process of maturing and ripening one's traits. You gain perspective from it. It is much easier to evaluate what is going on from the top of the cliff rather than looking at the next mountain from a lower perspective which intensifies the sense of uncertainty.




When you shift your perspective this way, the feeling of fear subsides. You are more accepting of your body’s transformation. If you look at it from the perspective of what you have accomplished in the last few years, you tend to overlook what is yet to be scaled. In addition, you tend to overlook what is questionable with limited capabilities. In such a state, your mind will also start coming up with more ideas for using your inner talents and inherent traits. As a result, it will feel more cohesive, solution-oriented, and grounded at the same time. This in itself is a dramatic change from when you were seeing things through the lens of fear and uncertainty earlier.


Additionally, it will allow you to widen your perspective and explore more options around you. You probably never asked for help from others who were on a similar journey with you and who could have offered some guidance and support. Or, when you were scared, you didn't look at your own innate capabilities. For example, in that pigeon and cat story, instead of closing its eyes, the pigeon could have thought of using its matured wings and flying off to a more secured ground. It will still die someday but at least not without flying or not out of naivety.



This is the new perspective that you should try acquiring.


Ultimately, life has to end for all. You might, however, be able to experience a few more sunrises and sunsets if you change your perspective, rather than merely crawling at the foot of the hill and wallowing in negativity. So acknowledge the change that is happening. Acknowledge the fact that even though you are proceeding further, you are not sure of all your steps. Accept that all is not white or black and it is grey. Live with a reality that sometimes things will go against your desires, sometimes people and situations will betray you. Sometimes responsibilities will appear like a mountain but sometimes there will also be silver lining and clear skies and sometimes there will be little moments of love, realization, magic and peace. The more you accept these realities, easier will be the process of aging for you. The more you try to run away from these, the more will it be like running in vain because this clock will never go anti-clockwise.


Once you accept these do not also forget to take an action and get going. You will not have to accept change just mentally but also physically. Move forward with the new confidence and clarity.


There my friend you will be at peace with every new year!


My good wishes to you for this and the forthcoming ones. May you experience the bliss of life each day!


Warm regards,

Komel Chadha

Psychotherapist

9811941192

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