Do you tell lies often and feel that it has become your inherent nature? And do you also feel that it shouldn’t be because this is not how you are?
Deep inside yourself, you know that you are not a bad person. You know you only tell lies to deal with situations. You also recognize that you do not intend to harm anyone. The only fear you have is that telling lies has become your characteristic which you do not wish to own.
This means that you tell a lie with the utmost precision, the associated guilt is hardly felt like your breath and you move on to another situation. Nothing inside you pinches anymore. It only appears on the surface of mind when you are introspecting. At that time also, there is a slight feeling of discomfort and nothing else. Occasionally, you live with such a momentary feeling, and at other times a part of you justifies the lie by justifying why you told it.
Not known to you what is becoming a deeper concern here is the build-up! The layers of lies are adding up to create your fake double. They are piling up and creating a brand-new version of you in the vicinity of the existing one, and you are unable to stop it. Eventually, the build up might or has become a concrete, stubborn structure in your inner neighbourhood. And there’s nothing that you are or will be able to do about it.
In the long run, you might not even feel that it has snubbed you.
For once, it may feel like this is what being an adult means, but it is simply a way for us to justify our nature. Being adult has no correlation with being a compulsive liar. This is just a way how our mind conveniently defines it.
So, if somewhere deep inside you are still concerned and want to live a truer life, then the first thing that you need to do is to accept this fake part of yourself that has become almost real. You will have to confront it and then probably do what’s next suggested as a way to deal with it.
This probably marks the beginning of living light for you! It won't be easy for sure but it will definitely help you feel your real self more closely.
Initially, this might cause a lot of discomfort and non-acceptance. You even might want to leave it and never consider moving forward, but deep within yourself, you realize well this is something that isn't right. Even if the world doesn't know it, you know you don't want to live this way! If this sounds like your self-talk then I would suggest it is time you better deal with your habit of telling lies. The point I am trying to enforce here by saying this is to live in peace. How you deal with your inner self is the process, what comes out will be the outcome, accept it but together it will bring peace. You will feel satisfied that at least you confronted your dark side, you faced it, and something inside you said no to it. You could live a more authentic life thereafter. If this sounds helpful, you can try this small recommendation for a few weeks and see what comes out.
[I don’t know what will be the outcome because every case is different. Yet, the only commonality between all of them will be that they will bring peace of mind and allow the individual to feel more authentic.]
This is the recommendation - Next time when you tell a lie, just be more conscious of yourself!
It is that simple and that complex. Bring your awareness to your mouth, and focus on what words come out. If your lies come out through written text, just bring your consciousness towards your hands and make yourself aware of what you are typing. Be introspective at that time. Look at yourself as if you are watching someone else tell a lie. Only look at yourself, you don't have to do anything else. Just observe! Keep doing this as many times as you tell a lie.
Over a period of time what will happen is that it will raise your awareness and your consciousness. You will know that it is not your inherent nature. That it is not subconscious.
In past, you have actually told lies so many times that now you don’t feel guilty about them. It’s like a hangman in a prison who hangs so many people that after seeing them die over and over again, he stops thinking about them. It feels mundane and he doesn’t get affected. But deep within, the fact is that he does get affected. He is accumulating something within him even if it is subconscious and not known to him on the surface.
If he brings consciousness to his act, he will never be able to execute anyone. He will become conscious that he is taking a life for whatever reason but he shouldn’t be doing it. He will find it difficult to continue hanging people. This is exactly what becoming aware of your own lies will do to you. Though you are not hanging anyone, somewhere within you, you will know that you are doing this and it’s not meant to be done. Eventually, your mind will figure out ways of not doing it anymore i.e., not telling lies anymore. And henceforward, you will be able to live a more mindful life.
The point is you don’t have to adopt a flawed nature just because it is widely accepted and just because everyone is doing it. Then, everyone is also suffering through inner turmoil. They aren’t able to deal with them either.
If you now know this, just control it. You don’t have to live with any habit that you do not wish to own.
Just be aware next time you tell a lie. Bring your full attention to the moment. Watch yourself. Pay attention to the organ that you are using to produce a lie. Watch the words that come out, and the action that follows. Your conscience will further guide you to bring an amicable change within your inner environment.
Hope it helps!
Do share if you have questions. Do share if you try this!
You can write to me on the below-given coordinates!
Warm regards,
Komel Chadha
Psychotherapist
www.komelchadha.com
9811941192 (Call & Whatsapp)